used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
