On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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