he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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