Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
