i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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