so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
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Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
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He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?