Texts From Last Night

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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you

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  (205): Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you http://tfl.nu/nk9c
  Replies (16) Good night (1097) Bad night (1073)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin

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  (802): i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin http://tfl.nu/0a0z
  Replies (14) Good night (1052) Bad night (2238)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.

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  (201): i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so. http://tfl.nu/3zja
  Replies (58) Good night (3906) Bad night (1315)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...

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  (910): when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going... http://tfl.nu/keeg
  Replies (106) Good night (1732) Bad night (10613)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.

  (785): View more from Kansas

  I could make treat bags

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  (785): Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson. (785): I could make treat bags http://tfl.nu/dekx
  Replies (104) Good night (6398) Bad night (882)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk

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  (256): Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk http://tfl.nu/ail4
  Replies (33) Good night (4470) Bad night (1431)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.

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  (+61): we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry. http://tfl.nu/qm28
  Replies (9) Good night (4867) Bad night (1418)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.

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  (808): You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him. http://tfl.nu/k2hw
  Replies (27) Good night (1698) Bad night (3363)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.

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  (517): we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/tadi
  Replies (11) Good night (9026) Bad night (2205)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice

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  (443): we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice http://tfl.nu/hzcq
  Replies (10) Good night (6373) Bad night (1964)
• Favorite

  (278): View more from Michigan

  Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.

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  (278): Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms. http://tfl.nu/bwzb
  Replies (2) Good night (1309) Bad night (497)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.

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  (772): When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny. http://tfl.nu/z1it
  Replies (14) Good night (771) Bad night (2330)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?

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  (305): Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention? http://tfl.nu/3cqf
  Replies (1) Good night (301) Bad night (339)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.

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  (773): And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything. http://tfl.nu/s3ep
  Replies (1) Good night (488) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.

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  (706): I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now. http://tfl.nu/4c49
  Replies (2) Good night (320) Bad night (160)

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