If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
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I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
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You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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