Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You dont lie about slip and slides
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He's on the porch naked. Help.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
