Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize