For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize