i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize
