we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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