Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Well I just put wine in my tea
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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