I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
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The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
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I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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