So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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