Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Enjoy the penises
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
