Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
