vagina is talking i cant
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
