Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
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I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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