Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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