no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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