that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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