This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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