I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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