did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
