Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
