Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
