the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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