I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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