I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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