i already hear my dad disowning me
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I love having hate sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize