You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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