He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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