oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
