So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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