Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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