When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
