I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
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