Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
It's rum buckets o'clock
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
