ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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