I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
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I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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