Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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