i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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