So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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