Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
