so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
