Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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