I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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