Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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