I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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