I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
