I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
no you cant smoke seaweed
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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