I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
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