on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
