so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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