I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize