Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
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