with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
