There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
time to smoke my breakfast
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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