I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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