but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
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But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
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Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.