sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
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He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
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You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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