i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Randomize
